(Not sleeping, so go typing and talking through/to one and only)
Living among a blank generation. And man oh man sense my own blankness. All I can do is scream out. Quiet and physical volume, low aching moans, and needing God. Much, madly, badly -- without sense of circumstantial ease, that keeps me light and... easy.
Stripped of a turned-on satisfaction that quells disturbance and makes God seemingly more redundant than -- as is -- urgent companion. Less about author of blessings, more about desperately needing.
Friend. Kind and present. Beautiful one and responsive lover. Great beyond great. Compare is impossible. Most real. All faithful.
Glimpsed in us. Living with the least. Simultaneously higher and somehow with those on the lower and humble. That me/now on. Humbled by this wilderness world and thankfully not any abhorrent behavior my ends.
Could not.... /don't care, who reads this and why. Writing upwards, so please excuse me if you are. Encouragement to follow along and meet someone (if haven't) -- this is a good call. For and to Christians? Nah. They'd mail me if did know the call to awaken prayer warrioring. As I would, if read this kind of talk somewhere.
The scarcity of awake and open fanatics for Jesus is fully concluded. Not, "not so many" but ...not. Ok some out there in a fight for light, truth and justice. Obviously so. Yet, few among few among... and, depleting numbers at this.
Type this and righteous cry out, want done, and go 'home'. The only place left to me.
Jesus is real and (about) all that makes sense, is a resigned reaching out in a wilderness. No matter the hollow and empty sound this makes, when written or verbal output to people.
No one listening but God and the unseen. Humans in direct opposition don't necessarily believe the opposing noise matters. They consider their bases are covered and prisons are secure. The final backroom lot, they know and like their unseen leaders, shudder at the thought of anyone given over to prayer. Any... ones, and the alarms ring.
Me: "When I grow up I want to be..."
Here staying up and groan, sort-of-prayer, --ish. Read Bible Gateway's Verse of The Day; I, even I, am the Lord, and apart from me there is no saviour. I have revealed and saved and proclaimed – I, and not some foreign god among you. You are my witnesses,’ declares the Lord, ‘that I am God.
Soak in and stand some. What else? Stand for the suffering and be ready to go.
Never in all my future dreams did I think it would come to this. Thought the best of church peep had it right enough and -- herein is life to live manifest. But no, cannot see it. More often, non-proclaiming Christians relate to. Justice calling and not taking this sitting down. See some 'in Christ' but hardly ever met one or made contact with. Meet any/ones met and...
About the best I can do is find God-help alone/alone and trust provide means for shelter and food. 'Go dark' off-grid -- this machine inc. -- and withdraw away with the One and be done.
Of course, this sounds like a resigned to, defeated last cause. When all the wisdom and prophets, pioneers and Christ himself, said as much, this would be what happens. The runaway and deserted peoples.
But this is the modern world. The step-up and out quite the barbaric and hard times once lived. We've progressed? Relax and be ye still about the troubles. Go: We live and die the same as, and western civilisation has somehow developed itself. Social care higher and a kinder normality.
Disconnect and far too satisfied on the surface. And; (because) the sons of this age are more prudent than the sons of the light, in respect to their generation.
Ok a claimer that times-they-are-a... but right-now what saith God. This all. Could delete this prelude to, just typed. For one word from God is worth a Niagara falling tumbling offload and maybe try-inform, otherwise.
Leave here and try to re-meet and more-so:
The Only One.